Added: Meliss Scoggins - Date: 11.04.2022 08:11 - Views: 33448 - Clicks: 4979
Despite Newcastle's swish new light rail and apartment influx in the city, plenty of people will tell you this up-and-coming city is still a country town. Many ex-Sydneysiders agree it's a great location to raise a family, or find affordable housing, or go surfing. Finding love in Newcastle is not always easy, as I found out when I set out to find women willing to talk about their dating experiences.
But dating opportunities are everywhere in Newcastle, from social groups, to trivia nights to a variety of online options. Some look no further than the nightclub scene for potential soulmates. Others have found success via dating apps, although not all apps are created equal. Some women are fed up, some women are swooning, and some don't feel like sharing their personal lives with a writer. Fair enough. What follows is a small sample size of straight women in Newcastle and their ups, downs and in-betweens, as they navigate the local dating scene.
Same-sex dating in Newcastle comes with its own set of challenges as well and if you're in the boat and would like to share your story, please get in touch. For three years she didn't use dating apps, but eventually she realised Tinder was a cheaper way to hook up. She recently started seeing someone more seriously, but for a long time she looked at dating in Newcastle as a way to have a bit of fun.
She estimates she's dated at least men in Newcastle. I know my Tinder profile pictures are the best of me and I'm never necessarily that. What turns me on in the pub is confidence and how they could approach me or how they react. Tinder is more of a battle of who wants to break the silence first. She liked meeting people in person at the pub, but she felt her options were dwindling.
She wondered if the city was too small or she was going for the wrong guys who were having a bad influence on her. She found it hard to move on from certain "types" of guys, for example uni guys or rugby league guys. Kacee Nelson. The decision to get on dating apps came from witnessing her colleagues and housemates use Tinder. A few of her female colleagues were on Tinder and they had dates all the time.
Finally Nelson went home after a bad day at work, threw her phone at one of her housemates and said "download Tinder, I'm ready". And we ended up mirror imaging my Tinder app onto the TV and voting about what we liked and what we didn't like. There were three of us to start and then our fourth housemate came home.
My vote was worth two and everyone else's was worth one. Sometimes I was definitely outvoted and from that evening came my first Tinder date. I liked Tinder for that reason, you found the men who didn't go to Argyle House every weekend. Her housemates have ended up helping her secure a few different dates and lovers, but after four years of fun she's seeing someone exclusively, a man she met in Brisbane of all places. They hit it off after what she thought would be a one-night stand. She deleted her app as soon as she returned to Newcastle and now goes to see him twice a month.
She hopes they can maintain the relationship, but she wouldn't feel comfortable with him moving to Newcastle. She had also lived here before attending university. She had a partner when she ly lived in Newcastle, but now that she's returned here, her career has taken priority.
In the two years that she's been here, she's not necessarily been looking for love, but not opposed to it either. She reckons people can find "their type" in any city, but she's sure if she were in Sydney she'd have a different experience because there's a bigger population. She's experienced Newcastle's romantic potential, too. She remembers being on Merewether beach with a partner now ex-partner , playing on the sand as the sun went down.
But she's not interested in dating at the moment, despite recently taking a chance on Tinder. For a long time the app hadn't interested her and she associated it with vanity and a distasteful way of meeting someone. She wondered how she could make a valuable connection with someone she "window-shopped" for. People are seemingly obsessed with it, and sometimes they do find someone whom they end up adoring.
Cinta Durney. She found she didn't have the time and energy for speed dating groups, and they didn't really appeal to her. She thought she could at least have some fun on the app. She quickly and unexpectedly found a guy with whom she had real chemistry. She began to reconsider her disdain for Tinder until it all went downhill.
She thinks it's not so much Tinder itself, but more the era, technology and people's growing lack of morals and emotional maturity - which Tinder has a knack for facilitating. Tinder seems to give people a ticket to act shady. Insecurities that I thought had faded came flooding back because I had no idea of this guy's life when I wasn't around. He was still on Tinder, as a few months in when I went on to delete mine, his was still there, with an updated location," Durney says.
This would imply he'd still been using the app. She said they didn't work out, just like many relationships don't, regardless of Tinder's involvement. Ultimately, she believes the app is perhaps not for her. I mentioned it, then let it go, and I'm sure he kept it regardless.
He had every right to really, though why would you need a dating if you were apparently smitten with someone and wanted them to be loyal and committed to you? It seemed somewhat hypocritical, and eventually communication or miscommunication mixed with insecurities and uncertainty killed the whole thing. Her advice for single men looking for love in Newcastle is simple: "Know what you want and don't string people along. Linda Read, 40, is a mother of two based in New Lambton. She reentered the dating scene in when she split with her husband of seven years.
She spent a few years dating locally, often with the assistance of dating apps. She's learnt enough about modern and digital dating to deliver a PowerPoint presentation, and while she's had moments of cynicism, she couldn't be happier with her current partner. The pair have formed a beautiful blended family thanks, in part, to Tinder. She was a single mum working in an office with a small of people. None of her friends had single friends, so she knew meeting someone on a whim would be unlikely. She didn't want to go to a bar; she didn't want to be with the kind of guy who picks up women in bars.
She tried eharmony dating app, but found it was just a waste of time for her - she couldn't find anyone close by. The dating apps tell you the vicinity of each user. Particularly because Read has children, she didn't want to have to uproot them from school and friends. Then she would visit her mum in Sydney and she'd turn on Tinder and the look of guys was totally different, and there were more. I couldn't go out at night because I had kids and then I'd have some horrible experience and then I'd go off it again," Read says. It didn't work out in the end, but he was a lovely guy.
Just like with any situation, things don't [always] work out. But with her current partner, she quickly realised it felt different. When she found his it wasn't so much about his photos but his bio - she liked where he mentioned he was on good terms with his ex-wife and that his kids came first. He had his own business and seemed driven. Their first date was at a cafe on King Street in Newcastle. As with all first dates, she was cautious, but this time it felt different. Fast forward and they're now a family. They've been together nearly two years and also own a house together.
She added that after their first date he updated his Tinder to read "Hi, I'm on here looking for Linda", and he left it like that. Karen Cross, 54, has lived in Newcastle for 20 years. Two years ago she and her husband split from a year relationship. I'd forgotten how to meet new people. I didn't have the confidence. I hibernated for the first eight months and got my head together with what do I do now. Eventually she got tired of her own company, so she decided to try Meetup, an online platform which facilitates group activities for people with similar interests.
She'd never heard of it before, but her daughter had encouraged her to try it. She learnt about Single Events Newcastle and went on speed-dating nights, events with opportunities to go on future dates. She also met Milly Morison, the group's organiser. Karen Cross. All of a sudden I was excited about the weekend because I had a lunch date with someone or a coffee date. Whenever you meet them face to face, 99 per cent of the time you're going to be disappointed.
I'm five foot two and size 14; if they're expecting a size 10 they're going to be disappointed. She says with Tinder people are seen as disposable, but she also likes that she can ghost or block people when they're being too forward or rude. She's also met men who aren't quite ready to get back into the dating pool.
I like that part of it. She said you have to be in a good space to be on Tinder. I sat down at the hotel, and then I couldn't even message him, he'd just [digitally] ghosted me. After her hibernation, she's loving the dating space: "I'm the oldest at work, and they come to me to ask 'what's a great place to go out at night?
When it comes to her future love life, she's working out what she wants. Milly Morison, founder of Singles Events Newcastle, is keen to make sure Newcastle continues to thrive as a scene for dating and socialising. Milly Morison. I was working from home for an academic publisher when I moved to Newcastle. I didn't have many friends here. I spent about three months talking to my cat and then my cat died and I started talking to the fridge. I was desperate for friends so I ed the Spider Pigs social group. When the leader moved away I couldn't let the group get shut down so I had to fight my anxiety and step up.
I've been running the Spider Pigs for about four years now and we have an event every week and over members of all ages from all walks of life. The Spider Pigs was the start of everything else. It gave me the network of people I needed to feel at home in Newcastle, to start a business with confidence, to stop talking to the fridge.
I needed a date. I was complaining to a friend of mine about how hard it was to find a date in Newcastle, and he suggested I go speed dating. But there was no speed dating in Newcastle. He said to me, "Milly, you run events every week, start a speed dating night.
Standing at the front watching 40 people chatting I realised I'd never be able to go speed dating as an attendee rather than a host, but the idea had legs. I modelled that night off events I had been to in Sydney, which wasn't the kind of event I wanted. My events needed to be friendly, approachable and person-centred, so that people who had social anxiety like me would feel comfortable coming and not just next in line on the dating conveyor belt. I've been running my events with the framework of Authenticity, Integrity, Empathy ever since.
I love dating. When I realised that I was dating the same person over and over again I did the 52 Date Challenge and went on 30 dates in three months. It really broadened my romantic horizons and shook up my "type. Since our first date, we've been together every day. I fully anticipate spending every day for the foreseeable future with him. The Newy dating scene is small, we don't have the pool size of Sydney and everyone knows everyone. So you can't be mean to anyone: stick to your values or it will come back to haunt you. In the last few years, I've seen a real shift away from online dating preferences, while people are still using POF or Tinder a lot they're also trying more ways of finding people.
SEN is about being yourself and finding your people. SEN events are person-centred and are deed to be friendly and kind.Lonely Newcastle dating
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Finding love in the 21st Century: Dating apps and the single scene in Newcastle in